Freezer

ATTN: FREEZER
Status: URGENT!

Dear Craigslist,

We have been great friends for many years and I've introduced you to a lot of wonderful people. As a thank you for my loyalty, I'd really appreciate a favor--maybe two, actually. First, could you please sell the things I have listed so I can get them out of my garage! :) Thanks so much.

Second of all--this one is extremely urgent--could you please have an amazing deal on a great upright or chest freezer today? Again, thanks so much. My refrigerator also thanks you since it is currently overflowing due to the gigantic amount of vegetables we are freezing this week.

Please keep me in mind for any and all great freezer deals you find!!

Thanks,
A loyal customer